


The Voicemail

by ivegg (ivster)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Denial, Non-Graphic Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, no happy ending, oikawa has issues, stages of grief, there are lots of tears, why did i make this sadness?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 13:49:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6807571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivster/pseuds/ivegg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi has been seemingly too busy too even send him a text.</p>
<p>He decides to forego texting and calls Iwaizumi.</p>
<p>This time he doesn’t leave a voicemail.</p>
<p>Instead Oikawa just holds his phone solemnly in his hand.</p>
<p>The soft summer breeze picks up his hair and ruffles it's perfection. He feels something settle in his stomach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Voicemail

 

 

 

i.

 

_ “It's Hajime Iwaizumi, leave a message after the tone and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.” _

 

Oikawa sighs into the receiver as he paces back and forth on the white tiles of his kitchen floor, the setting sun painting the room in beautiful red and maroon hues.

 

“Iwa-chan are you ignoring me? Anyways, I think we should go out for drinks this weekend at my favourite bar! I was thinking about inviting Makki, Mattsun, and a lot of other people! Let me know what you think Iwa-chan~”

 

He tosses around the phone in his hand as he frowns, it is very unlike Iwaizumi to not answer his telephone calls; especially when its Oikawa calling.

 

However he pushes the thoughts aside as pads into the bedroom. He pulls open the pajama drawer, he grabs a pair of long warm night pants but he takes note to haphazardly folded Godzilla pajama pants.

 

How silly of Iwa-chan, he must have left his pj’s here again. Oikawa grabs the pants and sets them atop the dresser, making a mental note to scold Iwa-chan for leaving his belongings where they don't belong.

 

 ii.

 

Oikawa is curled up on the couch with several blankets and a mound of pillows as he watches a documentary about aliens that he has seen dozens of times. His favourite scene is coming up so he whips his phone out to send Iwa-chan a barrage of texts.

 

**_Oikawa: Iwa-chan~~ ur missing my favourite part!!~_ **

 

**_Oikawa: I wish u would have come over tonight, I hate watching documentaries alone._ **

 

**_Oikawa: Iwa-chan are u ignoring me again????_ **

 

**_Oikawa: Iwa-chan that is so rude of u_ **

 

Oikawa turns his attention from his phone back to the television. He was sure that Iwaizumi wasn’t ignoring him, he was probably just busy with work. 

 

iii.

 

It's friday night and Oikawa is sandwiched between an already drunk Kuroo and a very tipsy Daichi, he knows that he is well on his way to being very thoroughly intoxicated as he lets out a string of giggle hiccups.

 

He notes that Bokuto and Akaashi have been gone for several minutes and he can’t help but pout because the duo was charged with grabbing the next round of drinks. 

 

He lifts his glass and drains the rest of the liquid in one long gulp. Kuroo, who sits on his left, is preoccupied on his phone. Oikawa chances a look over and watches as his black haired friend accidentally likes a picture on someone’s instagram from 78 weeks ago.

 

He vaguely recognizes the photo and in his haze he connects it to Kenma.

 

He doesn't feel like watching Kuroo freak out as he tries to unlike the photo, even though the damage is already done because Oikawa sees a notification at the top of Kuroo’s phone signaling a text from Kenma.

 

Oikawa turns his attention to Daichi who has an arm wrapped around Suga’s shoulders and whose free hand is resting dangerously high on Suga’s thigh.

 

Suga has a hand fisted in the material of Daichi’s shirt, the other holds the handle of an empty beer glass and he lets out a lazy laugh as Daichi beams at him.

 

Both sets of cheeks are burning up, but its not solely due to the alcohol.

 

Oikawa knew that look that both of them wore, he knew that look intimately. As he spent many hours concealing his thoughts, feelings, and emotions about his best friend from his best friend.

 

He knows too well how it feels to be helplessly in love with your best friend.

 

Speaking of best friends, Oikawa decides in this moment to send Iwaizumi a text.

 

**_Oikawa: ugh iwa-chan where are you??_ **

 

**_Oikawa: i s2g iwa-chan if ur ignoring me i am going to ignore u back!!!!!!_ **

 

Oikawa slips his phone back into the pocket of his jacket just as Bokuto and Akaashi return with another round of drinks and a line of shots. 

 

The shot burns so good in his throat and he chases it with a long drink of beer.

 

Feeling particularly smashed and overly confident he takes his phone out to sloppily text Iwaizumi again.

 

**_Oikawa: iwachan!!!! Wh y arnt u here????_ **

 

**_Oikawa: stop ignring me iwachan!!_ **

Oikawa misses the heartbroken glances and hushed whispers of sorrow from his friends as he sends text after text to Iwaizumi.

 

iv.

 

Oikawa is bored out of his mind, evident by the fact that he is wandering around the local park at just past noon on a beautiful day all by himself.

 

He sighs audibly before sitting on an empty bench underneath the shade of a large tree that is in full bloom, it's petals coat the surrounding grass and a few float along on the lazy summer breeze.

 

His thoughts drift to Iwaizumi, of course they do; they always do. He can’t help but feel a small pang of sadness, Iwaizumi has been seemingly too busy too even send him a text.

 

He decides to forego texting and calls Iwaizumi.

 

This time when it goes to voicemail he just hangs up.

 

Instead Oikawa just holds his phone solemnly in his hand.

 

The soft summer breeze picks up his hair and ruffles it's perfection. He feels something settle in his stomach.

  
  


v.

 

Makki and Mattsun are lounging comfortably on the couch in Oikawa’s living room, it's pouring; the rain is streaming down the windows and there is a slight chill in the air.

 

Oikawa marches back into the room, Iwaizumi’s  _ forgotten  _ pajama pants in one hand his phone in the other. He tosses the patterned pants onto the coffee table where Makki and Mattsun’s feet rest.

 

“Iwa-chan left his pants here, and he keeps ignoring my texts so can one of you--”

 

Makki is on his feet in an instant. A look of hurt mixed with anger rests upon his features.

 

“Will you stop it already.”

 

Makki yells and Oikawa can’t help but flinch back. Makki never yells.

 

“Just quit this whole act would ya!”

 

Makki is shaking with anger as Mattsun stands and takes his hand in his own, offering the shorter a look of comfort.

 

However the tension in the air is palpable.

 

“What are you talking about Makki?”

 

Oikawa feels his heart race as he looks at Makki, whose eyes won’t meet him directly. Mattsun clears his throat and grabs Oikawa’s attention.

 

“What I think Makki meant to say is that, he’s tired and--”

 

“What I mean to say is that you’re not the only one who lost someone Oikawa! We all  _ lost _ a friend. We all  _ lost _ Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi is _dead_!”

 

Oikawa feels everything around him come to a complete hault. Time is at a standstill.

 

_ Iwaizumi is dead?  _

 

What is Makki yelling about. Why is Makki crying. Why is he crying.

 

Oikawa doesn’t feel his knees buckle until he’s hit the floor. 

 

He’s sucking in breaths as fast as he can but nothing is helping. It feels as if he’s drowning as he gasps for air. His hands instinctively grab the phone that he had dropped at some point, his fingers typing out the telephone number that is ingrained in his soul.

 

He clutches the phone with an unsteady grip as it rings and goes directly to voicemail.

 

He’s calling out for Iwaizumi. He’s yelling.

 

Mattsun is holding Makki who is sobbing into his embrace.

 

Oikawa hangs up and redials.

 

_ And redials _

 

_ And redials _

 

_ And redials. _

 

He is met with Iwaizumi’s familiar voice, telling him that he is unavailable and will call him back as soon as he can. But that’s a lie.

 

Iwaizumi won’t call Oikawa back as soon as he can.

 

Oikawa is crumpled in a heap on the cold wooden floor, he can feel Mattsun and Makki’s eyes on him and he can’t take it. He flings an arm towards the door.

 

“Get out. Leave.”

 

He commands in between sobs that rack his entire body.

 

Just as he hears the front door close, his body lurches forward. He sobs and screams; until his throat is raw and there are no tears left, until he is left lying by himself in a too quiet house.

 

A too quiet house that had once been his home. It would never be his home again. Not without his best friend stopping by just to say hi or for a movie marathon. 

 

It would never be filled with the laughter of a voice he still cherishes. It would never be lit by the warm and shy smile of the person he  _ loved. Loves. _

 

The person he _loves_ but never dared to tell. 

 

A wave of nausea hits and he barely has the coordination to make it into the bathroom before he is heaving into the toilet.

 

Sometime later he crawls back into the living room and he manages to lay on the couch, but the blankets, the couch, the room all smells likes him. It all smells like Iwaizumi. All at once he is too overwhelmed.

 

He releases the remaining contents of his stomach onto the coffee table, new tears make their way down his stained and red cheeks. 

 

He can’t stay in the room. So he stumbles into his bedroom and seeks solace under his comforter, the thick fabric does nothing to warm his chilled body.

 

He knows that he will never again be warm.

 

He blinks and suddenly the sun has long since set and the clock reads just past 2 am.

 

He rolls onto his side and finds his cell phone resting on the nightstand beside his bed. He unlocks the phone and scrolls through his call log.

 

_ Outgoing call Iwaizumi Hajime _

 

_ Outgoing call Iwaizumi Hajime _

 

_ Outgoing call Iwaizumi Hajime _

 

_ Outgoing call Iwaizumi Hajime _

 

_ Outgoing call Iwaizumi Hajime _

 

The list is endless and it makes Oikawa sick. If he could vomit he would, however there is nothing left in his stomach.

 

As he scrolls through his calls a feeling of melancholy sets in, along with utter despair and total hopelessness.

 

However after a while he finds a missed called from Iwaizumi, accompanied by a voicemail.

 

He presses play before he can stop himself.

 

_ “Hey Shittykawa, would it kill you to answer your phone?!” Iwaizumi says but there is no heat behind his words. _

 

_ “Just letting you know that I’m on my way to your apartment, I’m a little late but I had to stop and  _ _ grab you a present _ _.” Iwaizumi snickers to himself. _

 

_ “I know your birthday isn’t for a couple of weeks, but trust me when you see what I’ve gotten you, you’ll understand.” There is an uptake in the background noise. Then there is the sound of a horn blaring. Tires screeching.   _

 

_ Then silence.  _

 

_ It's several moments before shouting can be heard and there is a sound of rustling fabric. All of the voices blend together, except for Iwaizumi’s. _

 

_ “My phone!” He rasps “Give me my damn phone!” _

 

_ It's a couple beats more before Iwaizumi speaks again. This time his voice is muffled and his breaths are coming in short unnatural pants. _

 

_ “I am so sorry Tooru.” _

 

_Iwaizumi is crying._ _He takes in one last pained breath before he grunts into the phone._

 

_ “I love you Tooru. Please, forgive me.” _

 

Oikawa is sobbing as the line goes silent and the voicemail ends. His voice is hoarse as he yells and screams for Iwaizumi. 

 

He kicks the blankets off of himself and replays the voicemail. He replays the voicemail over and over, until his phone goes black as the battery dies.

 

He lays in bed silently. Facing the ceiling, the late afternoon sun sneaks through the curtains and casts vibrant oranges and yellows on the white surface.

 

Oikawa hadn’t realized how much time had truly passed. How many times he had listened to the voicemail. How many times he had listened to Iwaizumi’s last breath. 

 

He no longer has energy for anything.

 

He doesn’t even have the energy to pull the blankets back over himself as he shivers and drifts to sleep.

 

He has no energy because he has no spark. No motivation. 

 

His motivation was Iwaizumi and now; he will no longer hear the voice of his best friend as he reminds him not to over do it, he will no longer look into the fierce dark eyes of his best friend as they toss insults back and forth.

  
Oikawa lays there as he slowly resigns to the finality of the voicemail.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Podfic of The Voicemail by haikyuugarbagecan (ivster)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6964345) by [for_others](https://archiveofourown.org/users/for_others/pseuds/for_others)




End file.
